Another friend down 😄

Nauubos na sila hahaha

Ako na yata ang may problema. Alam ko naman na hindi ako depressed pero ayoko lang makipag socialize sa ngayon. Since July na nahiwalay ako sa Filipino Community dito sa Korea at mag isa na lang ako, as in bahay at work na lang buhay ko. Naging home body na talaga ako. Kahit bumili sa labas eh ayaw ko kaya puro deliver. 

Hindi kami okay ni Stacey ngayon and I don’t think maibabalik pa yung dati naming closeness. Nakakalungkot lang pero ganun talaga, we don’t get to keep everyone till the end. Anyway, gaya ng lagi kong sinasabi, nasa Pinas ang tunay na buhay ko at ang source ng kaligayahan ko, ang pamilya ko, ilan ilan na tunay na kaibigan sa kahit anong season ng buhay namin at ang Trinity. 

Hayss... I can’t wait to go back home for good. Excited na ako sa next year. Mag 3am na dito pero hindi pa din ako makatulog. Masyado ako kinilig sa narinig ko ngayon hahaha

Wait lang, pauwi na ako 😄😄☺️🥰

All Will Fail Even Friends

It’s July now and so many things have happened already. I left Junghwa, I live alone now. I also left Nasom. So basically, I am all by myself. But what’s surprising is I am more at peace right now. Without all the gossips around me. I am more focused with my work, nothing to worry about. All will fail, even the so called friends that you used to trust before. The people whom you laughed with and shared your secrets, pains and dreams. It is so innate to human to be selfish. To have the desire to be always above others. To covet what others have to put down even your brethren. I see these in people even in my self. 

May mga kaibigan na kaibigan lang kung hindi sila ma incovenient, kung walang sacrifice. Nakakalungkot isipin na kailangan may gawin kang mabuti para ma gain ang friendship ng iba. Kapag wala kang maiooffer, bahala ka. Dami ko ng na experience sa pakikipag kaibigan, one thing is for sure, iiwan at iiwan ka nila. 

Ngayon, sa Seoul Covenant Church ako nag sisimba. From May to August, umaattend lang talaga ako. Walang kakilala o kakausap man sa church. Pero kahit ganun, walang Sunday na umalis ako ng church na hindi ko nakatagpo ang Panginoon. Thankfully, women's bible study opened at nakilala ko si Katie Jo. She invited me to attend the study, and we ended up in the same group! I met Jesslyn who has a very cute voice. She and her husband even gave me some kitchen stuff which I really loved 😊 I met Amy who is very friendly. I feel so at ease sa kanya. She already bought me coffee and she even paid for my Knowing Christ book, such an angel. Parang baby girl nya na super cute naman talaga! Jules is also in my study group, she looks so intellectual. I love her wisdom, I can feel how much she is working on knowing her Savior. There is also Tamar who I feel just a little tiny bit intimidated. Ewan ko kung bakit, siguro dahil na mispronounce ko pangalan nya nung first meeting namin 😅 Tawagin ko ba namang "Jaymart". Kase sa pinas matigas ang pronounciation ng Tamar, nakalimutan ko mga native English speaker nga pala sila. Kaya medyo hirap ako to express myself sa bs at mga kwentuhan, ang fluent kase nila haha 😂

September na ngayon kase nakalimutan ko tapusin ang blog na to. Nabasa ko ang email sakin dati ni Pastor Joey nung sinabi ko sa kanya na I will stay longer dito sa Korea. His prayer was for me to continually grow and not stagnate or deteriorate in faith and to guard my heart well. Naiyak ako, dahil alam ko I didn't grow sa lagpas 2 years ko na dito sa Korea. That is one of the cost of my decision na mag work dito. And that is now the reason kung bakit gustong gusto ko na umuwi. 

Pero kung iisipin kong mabuti, it was all my fault bakit di ako nag grow. Hindi ko pedeng isisi sa mga tao sa paligid ko dahil I can decide if I will let them affect me in my Christian walk. Hindi ang church kase I chose to stay in Nasom. It was all my fault dahil naging tamad ako at nafocus ang mata ko sa mga hindi importanteng bagay. 

This September, I joined the Knowing Christ bible study group after the worship service. I pray this will be my new stepping stone in having intimate relationship with Christ again. I pray I will not take advantage again of how forgiving the Lord is. I pray I will be more determined in truly knowing Christ, my Lord and my Savior. 

x

Dream Goals

When I was doing the collage for my dream goals, I wasn’t really thinking of what my heart really desire, I was just simply doing what I was asked to do. I was about to hit the sack when I picked up my book “Stand, A Call for the Endurance of the Saints”. One of the authors shared the hymn “Take Your Eyes Upon Jesus”. This is exactly what I feel now.

How I see darkness in this world, the lights of this world that blind us, it is hopeless. There is one thing that I want now, to see the light of my Savior. Oh how my heart aches realizing  that many times I chose the things of this world instead of the wonderful face of Jesus. 

My heart prays that I will see instead the glory and grace of my Savior Jesus Christ. Desire nothing else but to be in His presence where ever I am and to do his will what ever circumstances I will be in. I love You Jesus. Thank you for saving a sinner like me, for loving me despite of my unfaithfulness. Help me to endure till the end, to finish the race you have set before me. 

The cost of being here in Korea, now I realize what it is. It breaks my heart Lord, but I still plead for your mercy... There is no one that I desire right now but him. 

1. O soul, are you weary and troubled?
   No light in the darkness you see?
   There’s light for a look at the Savior,
   And life more abundant and free!
   • Refrain:
     Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
     Look full in His wonderful face,
     And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
     In the light of His glory and grace.
2. Through death into life everlasting
   He passed, and we follow Him there;
   O’er us sin no more hath dominion—
   For more than conqu’rors we are!
3. His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
   Believe Him, and all will be well:
   Then go to a world that is dying,
   His perfect salvation to tell!

Welcome 2019

Welcome 2019!!!

Days were gone really fast! Wow, 2019 na agad at malapit na ako mag 2 years dito sa SoKor 😅. I just got back from PH anyway. 2 weeks of vacation, hay sarap... how I wish I could stay longer. 

Back to Korea, back to work. Got a new job as well. Sobrang blessed sa bago kong boss. I love you Maam Sharon 😘

Another year, and no goals yet. Buti pa si Sis Jona, she already set her dream goals. Ako??? Hindi ko alam, hindi ko na din alam ang gusto ko 😂 

Anyway, feeling ko broken hearted ako. Pero ayaw kong mag move on. Ayaw ko din ng ibang choice. Iisa lang ang choice ko hahaha

Nandito na din si Stacey at mister nya sa SoKor. Madaming di umaattend ng BS. Si Myln eh umuwi ng Pinas pra ikasal. May bagong dinedate si Sjngnm. Nagkaron ng dedication sa church kanina at nabusog kami sa buffet. Nakavideo call namin si Sir Dennis after a long time. Si Pacquiao nanalo sa laban nya kanina. May bago along phone, iPhone XR. Face ID na sya, pero ayaw basahin ang mukha ko ngayon, bakit kaya?

With Stacey, Angelo and Cheenee. Tropang Milennial 😅